Overview team patterns

The 19 team patterns from the u-scan. There are plenty more we could name, but these are the most common:

The usual suspects: it’s always the same people talking, dominating every meeting. Everyone else stays in the background.

Say yes, do nothing: everyone nods along in meetings. Then nothing happens. By saying yes and quietly doing your own thing, there’s no conflict. But no progress either.

The elephant in the room: everyone knows what’s going on, it’s a hot topic, but nobody names it. Far too risky. By steering around it, we protect ourselves while the problem quietly festers.

Better as a one-on-one: why raise it in the group when a quick, safe one-on-one works just as well? No one listening in, no one holding you to anything. The result: whatever is discussed in the group starts to feel pointless.

The sub-club: on your own island, you’re king. No annoying colleagues telling you what to do, you’re in control. A collection of individuals, not a team. Safe, but the power of the collective is lost.

The leader will fix it: all balls go to the manager. They make the calls, cut the knots, resolve the conflict. The team waits, impatiently. Comfortable, but frustrating, because the leader always gets it slightly wrong.

The playground: invisible rules decide who’s in and who’s out. Everyone feels the unspoken pecking order. Safe if you’re inside. Quietly crushing if you’re not.

It’s about the content (not…): we think we’re talking about the work. We’re actually talking about power, status, trust, recognition. Keeping it “about the content” means never talking about ourselves, or each other. Too much hassle.

The yeah, but: “yeah, but we’ve tried that.” “Yeah, but that won’t work because…” It looks like contributing, but shuts down every new direction. The team stays in its comfort zone: no risk, no change.

Us and them: “old guard” vs “newcomers”, “management” vs “the floor”. Subgroups that label and judge from a safe distance. Think in camps and you never have to meet “the others”. Fatal for real collaboration.

The scapegoat: there’s always someone who “isn’t cutting it” according to the team. Often whoever sticks their neck out. By dumping all the tension onto one person, the rest avoid looking at themselves.

The eye roll: non-verbal resistance. Knowing glances, sighs, body language that says “ridiculous, right?” You can’t be called out for what you never said out loud. A safe way to show disapproval without the confrontation.

The whisper network: complaining through the side door instead of to someone’s face. No need to look anyone in the eye. A nice release, no risk. Until it’s your turn. This quietly erodes trust in the team.

The crisis mode: everything is always urgent. The team sprints from one fire to the next, no time to reflect. The adrenaline feels productive. A handy way to dodge the harder question: are we doing the right things?

My conscience is clean: one thing’s certain, this isn’t my problem. I keep my own affairs spotless, even if that lands you in trouble. Individual accountability above team interest.

The drama triangle: a classic. The victim complains, the rescuer helps, the victim turns on them, the rescuer feels betrayed. Roles shift, the script stays the same. Everyone points at everyone else, no one ever steps into the director’s chair.

All mouth, no trousers: plenty of complaining about what isn’t working, little initiative to change it. Complaining is safer than doing: no risk, and you can always be “right”. Comfortable on the sidelines, no chance of failing.

The panel show: everyone at the table tells their own story. The next starts from scratch, without picking up on what came before. Lots of monologues, no dialogue. Everyone feels heard by themselves, but the collective goes untapped.

Let’s keep it nice: whatever happens, it has to stay pleasant. A blanket of harmony over the team. Difficult things get laughed off. Nice atmosphere, but real conversations never happen.